“Don’t worry *Mysterious Female Pacrimmer*, they’re not going to eat you or make love to you.”
Mistress K (on horses during the trek)
“I’m not having children, I need an army of SOMETHING….”
Mistress K (on cats and why she doesn’t want to declaw them)

On Peter and Erin's "date"...

  • Lady A: Who paid?
  • Mistress K: They go Dutch, Audrey, it's the 21st century.
“Just in time for my new-found reverence for all life, and subsequent inability to kill the spider (I just threw water on it to get it away from the toilet) or the bees that keep finding their way into my room (I put them outside every time), my weakness is exploited by a horrid deformed-looking spider-beast, who almost chased me away from my table at the restaurant. Fortunately, the waiter chased it out the window with a pillow.”
Mistress K
“‎I hate how people take the silly things I say and turn them into something AAAWFUL.”
Mistress K (in reference to Veronica’s singing of “The Final Countdown”)
“Well, somebody has to be the voice of dissent!”
Mistress K
“If ever in my life I had any doubts about not wanting to be burned at the stake… now I know”

Mistress K 

while making s’mores in Cambodia

“‎”Look at this bug bite! What the !@#$ gave me that?” So, in answer to your question, the airport was fine, but the bugs, they came out in droves as we were waiting for the bus to our hotel. This is the thanks I get for not slaughtering their relatives back at the monastery?”
Mistress K
“I do not smile. That is my least favorite thing to do.”
Mistress K
“It’s not my fault my species reproduces by smirkiness.”
Mistress K